Dating Tips for Men: The First Date Read more

General Manners

• Act naturally. Dates want to see what you're really like. Don't be late. There's the phrase "good things come to people who wait," but on the first date that doesn't apply. If it's been agreed on that you'll plan the activities, call your date in advance and let her know what the two of you are going to be doing. Nobody wants to wear heels and find out they're going rock climbing.

On the Date

• Some men opt to open doors for their dates. Keep in mind that some people like this small courtesy, while others find it old fashioned and disempowering. Try it once. Ask your date if it bothers them. If your date doesn't like it, don't do it again. Chances are that if your date doesn't want doors opened for her, she won't want her chair pulled out for her either.
  Going to dinner and then somewhere fun afterward is the standard routine for a reason. It gives people a chance to get to know one another. Go somewhere for dinner that's quiet enough that you can have a conversation. Comedy clubs are good after dinner places to go, movies aren't. If you want to find out if you're compatible with someone, staring at a movie screen for two hours isn't going to tell you.

Who Should Pay?

• Plan to pay, but don't be overbearing. Some women also find that disempowering, old fashioned or chauvinistic when men insist on paying for everything. On the other hand, some find it chivalrous. Get a feel for what your date prefers and then do what makes her most comfortable.

End of the Date

• If you've driven your date in your car, get out and offer to walk her to the door. If she declines, thank her for a nice night and go home. If your date accepts the offer, feel out the moment. If a kiss feels appropriate, go for it. If it doesn't, hugs are fine. It's only the first date after all.

The Follow-up Call

• If you enjoyed the date and said you'd call, do it. Call the next day. Thank your date again for the fun you had, and if it seems like she might be interested in going out again, ask her. If she's not home, leave a message. If you haven't heard back in a couple of days, call again. After that, the ball is in her court. If she doesn't call back, chances are she is moving on and you should also.